


End a Fight

by Gadhar



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadhar/pseuds/Gadhar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One word can end a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End a Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Disc: I own nothing
> 
> I'm not really in full writing mode so there's not really any real...detail. Lot of dialogue I mean. But Lee wanted to get preachy so...I let him.

He's hit a nerve, fuck has he hit a nerve. It's not the first time Lee's regretted his mouth, the fact that most of the time he has no filter, that he can't stop himself from just saying the first thing that comes to his mind. It's why he's not good at the heart to hearts, why he's so good at interrogations and hitting people where it hurts.

It's also why he's so good at smashing through Barney's guilt trips, the near impenetrable shield of self-recrimination and deprecation that he summons around him like it's supposed to protect him instead of cutting him off and draining him, sucking him dry. 

So while he regrets it to a certain degree, regrets the pain that slashes through the anger in Barney’s eyes, he does it anyway. He brings up Billy and Stonebanks and Gunner all in one sentence, all the hot points because it tears through Barney's bullshit until he's doing nothing more than standing there choking on his anger and staring at Lee with the wild eyes of a man who's close to the edge, ready to lash out. 

"Lee" -sharp and curt, the name like it's a knife Barney's pulling out of his own chest, maybe he is. There's the force of nature behind it too, all that calm and quiet strength Barney's known for kicking up into a hurricane and ain't it something that Lee's one of the few that can kickstart that storm and end it, damn near simultaneously. 

He holds up a hand and says, "Rickshaw" and tries not to feel too bad for the way Barney's mouth snaps shut, jaw locking tight because that's what ends it. That word. 

Rickshaw, the bar they met at. Rickshaw the bar where they went after a mission and got so shitfaced together they couldn't remember their own names. Rickshaw the place where Barney pinned him against the wall, kissed him hard and had Lee’s cock so far down his throat Lee thought they were both gonna choke. Rickshaw, where Barney first broke down and told Lee he loved him and begged him to stay. Rickshaw the place where they’ve both been at their lowest.

And there's a slew of other memories because other than the hangar and the plane and Tool's place and Rusty's bar...Rickshaw's the other one. The one place where everything started and they make a point to go back there when they can, keep the memories alive. 

It ends fights because it's the one word that means damn near everything to both of them. It's the one word they agreed would stop everything dead if that's what had to happen and in all these years Lee’s only ever used it once before. 

Lee can see how it throws Barney off and the man has to step back and regroup. 

"Interesting call, Lee," he says after a few moments, because usually "rickshaw" means, fight over, stop what you're saying, stop what you're doing it's done and Barney probably expected him to keep fighting. But this time Lee wants it to mean shut up and fucking listen to me.

"I suppose, but it's a good way to get you to listen, yeah?"

"Lee, what are-"

"It's not your fault."

"Lee."

"It's not your fault. It never was, never will be. And I know that doesn’t stop the guilt one damn bit, I know it doesn’t make the cut any less deep but it is not. Your. Fault. You are not God, Barney Ross. You are just a man, and a damn strong one at that, who’s too busy doing everything he can for those around him he doesn’t have anything left for himself. And that is why I’m here. Not because I feel sorry for you, not because I owe you but because I want to be. It’s where I need to be. I am here for you and only you because I have nothing else to give and nothing more to lose. I just have you.

“So you can stand there and yell and scream at me to get the fuck out and to leave you to your fucking stupid pity party. You can tell me you’re worthless and that all that’s bad in this world is your fault. And I’ll stand here and I’ll listen. And then I’ll throw Rickshaw back in your face because you fucking try and tell me that shit doesn’t mean anything to you. Go ahead, Barney, convince me you’re a heartless bastard! ‘Cause the guy that threw himself out in front of a knife for me, the guy who fucks me just as hard as he holds me, the guy who stops the world from shaking down around me in one fucking look and puts his ass on the line for the tiny bit of good he sees in a group of fucking psychos is not that guy. He is not worthless. He is not nothing. He isn’t the guy that ruins everything he touches. And quite frankly I’m fucking tired of him getting shoved inside because you think your guilt is somehow better for me!”

Somewhere in it all Barney’s gotten closer to him, or he’s stepped closer to Barney because Barney looks far too shocked to have done anything. And there’s a silence stretching between them that’s filled with Lee’s harsh breaths and he’s trying to read how much more it’s going to take to get his Barney back. To get the Barney back and get rid of this fucking ridiculous shadow that’s trying to tell him all sorts of bullshit. “When you gonna realize I’m not going to leave, no matter what you say? Huh?” _When you gonna realize we’re fucking stuck together until we’re both dead. When you gonna realize I love you._

He turns away when Barney doesn’t say anything, just to catch his breath and regroup, try to find some other way to get through Barney’s thick skull. The hand that catches his wrist has a desperation to it that Lee can feel in the force of the grip. 

Lee follows the arm up to the set of eyes on the other end and they’re not shocked anymore, there’s even a bit of that unshakable faith buried somewhere behind all the emotion. And then he’s pulled into a hug, Barney’s weight leaning against him and for the first time Lee gets his chance to hold Barney together, payback for all the years Barney’s done the same for him. 

There’s a wet sound against his neck and Lee turns his head to hear better, listening as Barney whispers again and again into his skin, “Lee” and “Rickshaw” and Lee knows he’s walking himself through all the memories, calming down. So he just holds him as he goes through them too, remembers the last time they went to Rickshaw and how Barney had just stared at him the entire night, never saying a word until they had gone into the upstairs room and spent the night with Barney licking Bourbon off his skin and saying every dirty thought and every proclamation of love he had pop into his head. 

Lee thinks they might be a bit overdue for a visit.


End file.
